Freakin' street cleaners

Not all of you live in a city quite as preposterous as this cocked-up, jury-rigged, half-assed cautionary tale we call Los Angeles, so every now and then it seems worthwhile to bring you stories of what can happen when the idiots wind up in control. Consider it a warning.

Every street in L.A. is subject, once a week, to street sweeping. For one three-hour period, it is illegal, under pain of a 40-dollar parking ticket, to park on one particular side of the street. Why? because at some point during those three hours, a giant hunk of metal, basically a motorized water tank is going to drive by and spray a light misting of water on the street while spinning a giant brush over the area in an effort "clean" the street.

These machines do not clean the streets. The streets look no different after they pass by. But that's not really what street cleaning is about, is it?

Let me break it down for you. You buy one of these machines for, let's say $100,000, and then you drive it around L.A. all day every day collecting 40 bucks a pop. How long, do you think, before that machine is in the money? My guess is not long.

And why is it that most of the three hour windows are 9-12 and 12-3? Because those are the hours they are most likely to catch people in the red zones so as to better maximize revenue... right as the morning commute is starting, and on either side of the lunch hour. If they worked from 2-5, they would never find anyone parked on a residential city street and cleaning those streets would be much easier to do.... but that's not the point is it?

And while we're at it, how often do we have to sit through drought warnings in Los Angeles? If everyone were really so concerned about water/gas conservation and the environment, maybe driving a 1,000 gallon gas-powered water tank around L.A. and spraying water all over the streets isn't the most, let's say "green", way to approach the problem?

Just another way they screw you here in the "City of the Angels."